While I was packing the other day, I found a small rock in my backpack. I remembered that I picked this up a few weeks ago at Tidewater Cove, the turn-around point for our usual 10 mile walk. It was a clear day. John and I took off our backpacks to rest for a few minutes before heading back home. I decided to look for a rock to bring with me as an offering at Cruz del Ferro (the Iron Cross which is the highest point on the Camino). So I was looking at this small, pinkish rock and decided that I will write a short prayer, wrap it around the rock and store it in my backpack. But, as soon as I sat down in front of my laptop, immediately a surge of emotions came over me and I started to weep. I couldn’t continue so I sat there until it subsided.
I always knew that I had this longing in my heart for the Unknown, God, something much more than this life, some being who knows all and accepts all. But I was surprised how this longing visits me when I least expect it, and with every opportunity it can seize. I guess this is the reason why I walk the Camino. I offer myself to myself by leaving the comfort of my own home, all the amenities that I have acquired to make my life easier, and step into a place where I am rather ‘vulnerable’. In that place I no longer own more than my backpack. I even leave behind those carefully crafted stories of mine. I am willing to experience the freedom that comes from not knowing.
I did manage to write a short prayer….
“Lord, I have come here, once again, to Cruz del Ferro. I have come to lay down, all that is not me, and reclaim all that You have bestowed within me. May this prayer guide me onward from this point and throughout my life. For I desire to be love, joy, happiness and be ever closer to You. Amen.”